Johnny Fappleseed

Johnny Fappleseed is an eldritch abomination as old as time itself. Currently, it chooses to take the appearance of a 127 Year Old Caucasian Male. It roams the American Midwest, ejaculating at random. Where it lays it's seed, an Applebee's grows. These Applebees are known to have anomalous properties, and have been the sites of many cult killings, disappearances and bad first dates. The United Nations estimates there to be 375 of these locations, mostly scattered through the states of Kansas, Missouri and Illinois. The US Department of Homeland Security classifies it as a severe threat to the American Heartland.

Possible Origins
UN archaeological digs in caves located in Pennsylvania have uncovered cave paintings dating back to 1237, depicting a man ejaculating onto the ground and trees appearing. These trees are later depicted attacking and impregnating several persons, which give birth to living apples. There is no evidence of any Native Americans ever having lived in the area.

Rise to Prominence
During the 1980s, a time of growth for the casual dining chain Applebee's, there were reports of violent crime at many of the restaurant's locations in Southern Illinois. These include: Police Investigations into these locations revealed that none of them were franchised, and many were well below health code standards. All of the locations investigated burned down some time later, and crime rates increased in their respective communities. Around this time, a man identifying himself as "Johnny Fappleseed" was arrested for public intoxication. He ejaculated on the deputy interrogating him, blinding the man, and escaped. The police station burned down after someone put a spoon in the break room microwave and an applebee's appeared in it's place. It was at this point the applebee's crime spree was reported to federal authroities, who developed a connection between the applebee's and Fappleseed.
 * Abductions
 * Murder
 * Arson
 * Petty Theft
 * Grand Larceny
 * Mail Fraud

Mysterious Applebee's
The locations appeared out of nowhere, and where they appeared, violent crime increased 120 percent in their respective neighborhoods. Several Effects were noticed:
 * Any couple who visited the Applebee's would engage in a bitter break-up or divorce.
 * Any child under the age of 3 who visited would become a violent criminal
 * Any adult who visited alone would exhibit dangerous, antisocial tendencies, or become an obese alcoholic.

Attempts to Destroy Fappleseed
On March 29th, 1981, President Ronald Reagan authorized an assassination on Fappleseed. Twelve Special Forces soldiers entered a UH-60 blackhawk and flew towards the last anomalous Applebee's reported. The Helicopter's engines failed and spun into the building. All 12 soldiers died.

Current Location
Fappleseed is believed to be making his way towards colorado, and the number of applebee's is increasing. People in affected communities are being warned not to go within thirty feet of any applebee's.